In the yard out the window to my right stands something that makes me both a little hopeful and a lot uncomfortable every time I see it: a for sale sign.
My husband and I are moving on from our 425 square-foot tiny house after spending the first twelve years of our marriage here. We remodeled this little house from top to bottom, inside and out, and we were content here until a month or two ago. Even now, as the idea of moving is rapidly materializing into reality, the decision to leave this home has us both a little unsettled.
This little house is packed with memories. We know the work that’s been done to it, and we know its quirks. I carefully curated the flowers that grow in the yard. We are used to the tiny mortgage payments. And now we’re leaving all that.
It’s a scary thing to leave the solid for the unknown. Yet, that’s exactly what God calls us to do. In this case, he’s done it gently. He let us get uncomfortable here. He changed our neighborhood. He presented us with opportunities that prompted us to start asking, “What if?” He lined up one step and then the next.
Now that we’re taking those steps, however, I feel a bit like I’m running down a hill at out-of-control speeds. All these steps are lined up and we just seem to be falling into them, one after the other, and when we land, will we be someplace safe and happy and better?
I’m not sure how everything will work out. At this point, we’ve listed our house and we’re looking at others. We could be somewhere new in just a couple of months. It could all be decided in just a couple of days or weeks. Or, maybe this tumble down the hill will slow and we’ll still be here next fall. Only God knows.
As I feel the uncertainty of that, I’m grateful. I don’t often enough acknowledge how completely I must trust God.
In my comfortable life, I tend to act like I’ve got it all under control. This situation has reminded me that I do not.
I’m helpless. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how it’ll turn out. I’m hungry for reassurances, and that hunger has brought me to a place of trusting and seeking my Savior anew.
That’s exactly where he wants me.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
~ Words of Jesus, Matthew 11:28, NET
Notice, he doesn’t say, “Stay where you are, and I’ll give you rest.” Jesus challenges us to come, to leave our comfort zones, and to follow him in order to find rest. It’s counter-intuitive. Shouldn’t staying in one place be more restful? Yet it’s not.
Following Jesus looks different outwardly in one life and one season of life compared to another. Sometimes, we’re called to physically move. Always, coming to and following Jesus means keeping our faith squarely on our Savior.
When we do, the promise is that he will give us rest. Not he might or he could or he’ll consider giving us rest. He. Will.
I am reading Desiring God by John Piper (have been for a while, actually…), and I started the chapter on prayer over the weekend. Piper talks about how helpless we are and how God desires to do for us the things we can’t do for ourselves. He wants us to bring those things to him in prayer so he can show his power and glory in doing them. We come to him, and he does the work while we rest in him.
Does this mean God’s going to get me a million dollar house for the meager offerings of my budget? You never know! Okay, no, I’m not praying for that. But it does mean he’s got this. It means even if I don’t get what I want, I’ll get what he wants, and that’ll be better. It means the outcome will be for his glory and the good of his people (including me!). It means he’s leading us through this roller coaster to show his goodness and his ability to provide. It means I can sit back and enjoy the ride. And, actually, the more I do that, the less of a roller coaster this will be.
And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose
~Romans 8:28, NET
I don’t have to worry. I can rest.
He already has a plan, and it is good, and I’m so grateful.
What circumstances has God used to stretch you recently?