I sat at my counter, drawing the letters of a phrase from one of my favorite Bible verses, Luke 1:45.

“And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” (ESV)

The phone rang, my real estate agent calling. I set the pen on the counter and answered. Our offer on a house had been accepted.

God had answered prayer and granted us favor with the seller.

Blessed is she who believed. 

I’ve been blessed. That’s for sure. But have I believed the way I should’ve? Thinking back over the emotional highs and lows over the last few weeks, another verse comes to mind:

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
James 1:6 (ESV)

At the time when I got the call, as I sat drawing those letters, yes, I believed God had a plan for where we would move and how and when. But there had been other times when I was like a wave in the sea. My questions tossed me all over the place, despite my best intentions.

I’d gone into the housing adventure intending to hold my house hunt with an “open hand.” The goal was not to fall too in love with anything. I’d trust that God would provide us with the right place at the right time for the right price.

Turns out, I can close my fingers around something in the blink of an eye. I grip as tightly as I can, terrified I’ll lose it and that God’s plan won’t turn out as well as my plan.

Really, I haven’t been all one or all the other–faith or doubt. I’ve been a mix, much like the father pleading for Jesus to cast a demon out of his son.

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Luke 9:24, ESV

Jesus did command the unclean spirit to leave the boy, and he was healed. God met the needy plea for help with grace.

This is the kind of Savior we serve. We are human. We will falter. There will be times when our belief isn’t what it should be, but when we cry out to Jesus as our  faith melts into waves of doubt, Jesus walks on water to pull us back to himself. Despite being imperfect, we are blessed.

And then we are granted more opportunities to walk on water with him.

The offers may be in on our house and the one we are buying, but I just got off a phone call that reminded me things can still go wrong. Those unexpected hitches are each a new invitation to believe. Again.

Lord, thank you for loving and caring for me. Thank you for having plans for me that are for the ultimate good. Convict me of the areas where I’ve closed my hand around what I want and reveal to me the effect that has on my life. Show me opportunities to believe you on a deeper level. Lord, grow my faith. May I more consistently become “she who believed.”

Need a more lasting reminder to believe? I will give away the pictured 8×10 drawing/watercolor to one randomly chosen email list subscriber who also comments on this post. I’ll contact the winner via email on 3/28/16 for a mailing address!